BODY SHAME
BODY SHAME.
BLEAARRRGGHHHH.
I’m so over it. Anyone else?
This photo is a photo of me from Burning Man. I’m not wearing as much clothing as I typically do, clearly. And by God(dess) it felt good!!! I Love getting dressed up in fun costumes and the Burn is definitely a perfect place to do that. It’s a place where your full self is celebrated and every inch of you is welcome - It’s a very refreshing place to exist for a while. I like it a lot. It’s good for the soul.
But since I got back I’ve been noticing something coming up about sharing this photo.
And THAT SUX!! Coz I felt so damned good about myself in the moment. So free and sexy and fun and empowered. I LOVED the photo when I first saw it. And now what is that feeling? Shame?
Oh yeah. F**king shame - how base and boring is that.
I wonder, why is it so hard to celebrate ourselves some days.
To stop letting 20 pounds up or down, (or other ‘lackings’) define our worth.
I know we know that we deserve more than that. But. Or rather Yes, And
Too big. Too little. Too much. Not enough.
Body shame is everywhere.
It’s like the ocean to the fish — we’re swimming in it and don’t even realize it.
It’s in our conversations, our schools, our offices every image of our media…. in the mirror.
Here is a quote from an excellent book called The Body Is Not an Apology but Sonya Renee Taylor “Different kinds of body shame stem from systemic oppression, including racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, and fatphobia, which tell us that certain bodies are superior to others. This leads to internalizing negative self-talk, such as feeling like you must apologize for your body's size, age, or disability, and fuels consumerism by pressuring people to buy products to "fix" themselves. This shame can also manifest as feelings of inadequacy, the need to hide parts of yourself, or the constant pursuit of an unrealistic, narrow standard of beauty”
And we are ALL affected by it. It’s bullying and I have a sneaky suspicion we are all guilty of it at one time of another. I catch myself doing it to myself and then I catch myself doing it to others and then I catch other people doing it to me, sometimes even people who love me! Or I witness it being done to others and it’s so ‘normal’ I hardly even clock it for what it is - shame. It’s insidious.
We don’t even know we’re doing it, for all the good intentions, we and our culture can’t seem to help it. It’s become part of our ‘way’.
But I really want us all to be able to help it -
So I’m getting better at catching it the second it rears it cheeky snout
It’s gotta start with me.
Lately, I’ve been walking around in short shorts. Skimpy clothes. Catching myself in the mirror and whispering, “You’re a hot bitch.” to my reflection. It’s working.
Not because I believe it every day.
But because I’m practicing.
I’m re-learning how to love every curve — every soft, strong, brilliant, aging part of this very clever body that’s danced it’s through so much. With still so much more to come.
This practice in turn allows everything and everyone else to be seen through a lens of beauty - You know how it works.
We love ourselves
We love and inspire each other.
We break the rules. We change it
We celebrate every beautiful, fierce, one-of-a-kind body. Big. Small. Black. White. Differently abled. Old. Young.
So If you’re half as tired of the shame as I am…
Start small. Wear less. Say more loving things - to yourself and others!
And maybe… post that photo you’ve been scared to post. The one where you’re showing up as ALL OF YOU — radiant and real. I’d love to see it!
I’ll step off my soapbox now.
But just know this — I love you.
And I hope next time you catch yourself in the mirror, you’ll say the same. 💙coz you’re a hot bitch and you know it
*** I coach this stuff too by the way - if you need some help resetting your mindset, healing from from shame & blame trauma & rediscovering your full F*** Yes to your life - HIT ME UP! I am a Somatica certified Intimacy & Relationship Coach and a Witchy Woman Rebirth Doula. I love my work & I would love to connect with you - book a free call and you see if I might be a great next step or you
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